Te Amo

Amo, what are you saying, the old geezer lifts his head, he is old, it’s tough, the muscles are weak, lying on the pillow, not enough exercise, getting older, still wise though, has his faculties. Te Amo, he says, she listens in close, the nurse, what is it your trying to say, she leans closer, can feel the breath from his mouth, Te Amo, he repeats, she sighs, can’t make it out, getting old, it’s hard to understand what is being said. Amo chases the room with his eyes, Amo he says, Amo, a memory returns to him, how he used to enjoy making people smile, women in particular, and children, being a man, he was not impressed with the male attitude, always in a hurry, did they ever hear of the word, wait.

Valentines day, he had friends, some old as himself, they having gruff attitudes to the love, living in cuckoo land, giving out, complaining, the world is wrong, had a view on all that was wrong, acted like politicians mostly, as if it was approval they sought, maybe covering up their own fears. Cheer those damn souls up, Valentines day, and the feelings in it, he would send them out cards, at least get them wondering, think different awhile, you will be surprised, who sent that?

 

He left me twenty years ago, Solomon listens, a blob of Guinness on his lips, being polite, he lets her rant on, who else would listen to this, no wonder he left you he thinks, still smiling at her, he must have been real bad to have that impact on you, he says, as he reaches for the new one, new Guinness, and you still haven’t forgiven him then, why should I she says, she goes on and on, meanwhile Solomon listens, how a conversation can ruin a Guinness moment. Did you ever hear of Love he says, she looks at him as if he has sixteen eyes and looks like a sheep, oddly, what’s that she says, Solomon raises his eyes, I will be on the whiskey soon if she keeps this up, did you ever hear of Te Amo, is that a drink she asks, mind if I go to the bathroom he says. So many wars fought over love that goes wrong, history of the human race, amen.

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AGH the new addiction

Map showing flow of heroin from Colombia to th...

Map showing flow of heroin from Colombia to the US. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Smell of vodka, pungent, a few minutes of rest he hoped, a little sleep to escape the madness  the stress, she had beaten him,  was slowly getting sick from it, the sweet sickly smell of half chemical half human waste. Moving his head he saw it. A half bottle of the stuff, cap off, feeling his surrounds, it felt dry, instead of the usual sticky mess. Absolute gut rot, tool of destruction, affordable to anyone, any number of cheap brands, poorly made, readily available to everyone, and they think illegal drugs are worrisome. Where was she, his only thought. Mind body soul, what is your addiction. Every human being, without question, born with a void in the heart, the third person so to speak, the creation of new love, when two becomes one, as it was supposed to be. Today, that void is being filled, it’s a vacuum situation,  not with unconditional love. It sucks up whatever is about, whatever it experiences, that you can have no doubt. It’s why children are  sexualized younger and younger, eventually, they’ll not be able to love at all, just exist, dead inside, and it’s the main reason for so long, we have not been able to make that connection with God Most High. Only true love connects with the divine. Those who  put money at the top of our expectations, know they are destroying true love, just as the bible warned us about, over two thousand years ago. Be warned. Take delight in the fact, the God Most High has those that destroyed true love on his to do list, amen. You are never alone, it’s just that those who sell fear and worry, like to make you think your alone, that way, you become dependent. Ask anyone who has lost someone close, to explain..