TRYE, the reason you exist, big question, I haven’t time for this, I have a plane to catch, the speech is half prepared, and the babysitter is late, I know why i exist, will someone find me a nappy, Jesus, can babies shit, where are the wipes, damn it, those creams are so sticky, on my god, someone has dropped the nappy on my speech, please stop crying, the reason I exist, how the hell am i supposed to know this, I will deal with it later.
Pouring over the speech, worried about delivery, the pause, you have to get it right, like a catwalk model who know’s how to pose, timing, it’s important just to pause at the right moment. Tipexed out, you pass the splotched paper to your assistant, she will even wash your dirty underwear, and your smelly socks, she depends on you for her living, and the ball of cash, a dependent of sorts, you can’t exist without each other.
Eight in the evening, and you return home, exhausted, you fall onto the couch, the baby sitter smiles, baby ate and slept well, you sigh, i can deal with that, one of these days baby will be going to school, and you will smile, cause you were responsible for getting her that far, well, you and the babysitter, why do I exist you ask. You climb the stairs to the bedroom, you feel your chest tighten, panic hits you, is this the moment, when you won’t exist.
The hospital is bright, your helpless, wires stick you, and machines all around you, suddenly, all you can think of, why have I been doing all this. You realize your an egotistical smile, the money you made will never be spent, and the friends you have, are not friends ,just acquaintances, the only thing you have in common, wealth, and there is no feeling in that, unless your making plenty and getting high on the buzz. Why do I exist, the question runs through your head, the doubts that can’t be hidden by a busy routine.
You exist to overcome the material, in favor of Spirit, for how can it fly, if it’s burdened by what is temporary, amen, how can you pass it on!.