The Coffin Jock

She is a coffin jock, well you never heard an undertaker described in those terms before, did you, the old man is studying a catalog, it’s full of glossy images of coffins. The waiting room in the undertakers is playing mourning music, Vivaldi’s four seasons he thinks, he is not sure, he thumbs the brochure. Mandy is waiting for him to choose his box, the oak Kingdom comes in at 4,000, but it has real silk lining and an air cushioned pillow that is guaranteed to last five years, so the scribble beneath says. He looks over at Mandy, he is a shrewdie, always asks, seeks value in everything.

How can you prove it?

What she smiles

It says here the air cushion is guaranteed for five years, how is that so!

She has the answer ready, she explains. NASA uses long lasting power capsules to ensure the thing, the spaceship stays supported when it loses contact with the home base, our manufacturers have taken a leaf out of their technology and encapsulated it in the power cushion, meaning, you will never have to worry about a good nights sleep once you go under.

Why did I ask he wonders. The previous month, he was at a get prepared presentation, a meeting for those interested in preparing for the end of life, originally supposed to be a lawyers benefit, the seminar being sponsored by a large firm, it was aimed at getting the oldies to take up or update their last will and testament. Old Bill decided he’d smooch along for the fun of it, he’d already left the bulk of his estate to an old folks home, on condition they spent the money, on entertainment services for his old friends, a way of saying thanks to them all. Coffins were far from his mind. A week later he gets the news, good news. At the seminar there was a raffle, and why not, Bill wins it, the prize, a free coffin.

How long have you been a coffin Jock he says, at the end of the brochure, about to close it..

Did I hear right she thinks, did he say coffin jock!

Solomon sighed, so much effort in preparing for the last act and so little effort put into the entire performance, maybe old shaky spear was right, the world is a stage.

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